My body, without volition, started thrusting in and out in the ancient rhythm of life. I looked into her wise, deep brown eyes and without warning ejaculated.God, I was so embarrassed.I collapsed into her arms, weeping.“I CAN’T UNDERSTAND why I am having such a strong reaction to combat. I have been in combat much of my adult life. I have made my profession combat arms. I have held dear friends as they bled out waiting for dust-off. But I’ve never had this reaction. Why?”I felt Cindy’s arms squeeze me gently.“Do you remember the dickhead yanking off your leg?”I shuddered.“Yes. I hear that sound now in my nightmares.”I felt Cindy nod.“It’s the nanites. They are keeping your brain operating ‘normally.’ Unfortunately, for soldiers, for humans generally, we deal with some of the worst shit in our lives by forgetting it, or at least putting those memories in a room and locking the door. The nanites block some kind of neurotransmitter that allows that to happen. They haven’t found a way to. The five pictures I am speaking of were as follows:The first was a black and white shot in the back yard of our house, and you can see my older sister waving in the foreground, she looks about 9 years old perhaps. My mom is sitting at the picnic table looking over her right shoulder toward the camera and smiling. And on the opposite side of the table and to the far right in the photo is what appears to be a nondescript 4 or 5 year-old girl in a knee length dress and lacey ankle socks, smiling toward my mother; of course upon a closer look, it's me. I thought at first it was my younger sister, but that couldn't work because she's almost 10 years younger than my older sister, so she'd be a newborn or infant if my sister is about 9. My first question was, "who took the picture?" because I know I was never allowed to be seen by my dad dressed like this, and I remember clearly never being in his presence dressed as a girl. But there we are, mom and two children in the same picture,.
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